How your Words can Improve your child's Self Esteem

Knowing how to communicate with your child and support him is one of the most important aspects of building a child’s self esteem. In order to improve your child self esteem and confidence, it is fundamental that you make sure to dedicate enough time each day to simply communicate with your child in an uninterrupted environment and that you give your child plenty of opportunity to express his opinion and thoughts.


Your child needs to feel that he can trust you and count on you whenever he needs to talk, express something or simply share with you what happened during the day. You really are the most important person in your child?s life and your child needs to feel though your words and actions that he receives unconditional support and love from you.


Let your intuition be your guide as you choose the best moments to really dialogue with your child. This could be during the day, at night time before going to bed and simply whenever the opportunity presents itself. It?s important that your child knows that he is important to you, and you?re ready and willing to communicate and answer questions at any time. Sure there are times when it may not be able to happen ?right then?, but make a time instead if need be. The simple act of letting your child know that what he has to say is important to you and you will be free in ten minutes or one hour goes a long way to maintain balance but also encourage your child.

When talking together, pay close attention to the actual words your child uses. When you hear ?I can?t? or ?I am not good at?, make sure you help your child use a healthy self talk like ?I don't understand this" or ?I am not sure how to do that?. Then help your child understand how he can resolve the problem and always make sure that your child knows he has your support. Self confidence starts with your child feeling that he can count on you whenever he needs help. Keep in mind that words have a powerful impact on what your child will be able to achieve and this is precisely why he should learn to focus on what he wants rather than what he does not want. To illustrate the power of words, people often quote Mother Teresa when she said ?I will never attend an anti-war rally. If you have a peace rally, invite me?. This is a valuable lesson for adults and children to understand that we should always put our attention and energy on what we desire rather than what we don?t desire.

Start dialoguing with your child at a young age! Teenagers will be more open to talk to their parents if they are used to openly discussing things with them from their early age. It then is very natural to discuss things and ideas, answer questions and resolve problems together and grow as a confident teenager!

 Many times teens feel as if they are unimportant or cut off from their parents. They may not understand their parents? viewpoints and parents may not take the needed time to discuss things with their teens and really truly get to know the person they are evolving into. It is never good enough just to answer ?because I said so?. Children and teens will only accept that response for so long until they block a parent out emotionally, feeling the parent will never understand.

 In addition to open communication, another step you can take today is to implement family meetings. Meet around the dinner table after dinner and bring anything out in the open that needs to be addressed. Make sure each member feels important and that their thoughts and opinions count, even if not everyone is in agreement. Set some ground rules first ? like being respectful of one another and no interrupting, and move forward from there. Simply by setting aside time each week or a few times a week to do this, will greatly improve your child?s self esteem and willingness to open up to you as a parent.

When we bring back family and communication as the centerpiece of our lives, everyone?s life benefits in a radical way. 

So choose your words and build that family bond of closeness. Your child?s future outlook and success will take root in that loving atmosphere of caring and true open communication.